Gone for good
by lumos-my-life
Summary: Madge and Gale form an unexpected friendship whilst Katniss and Peeta are in the hunger games. Now that they're back, how will things be? Most importantly how will they all react to the announcement of the Quater Quell, and their district's newly chosen tributes. Will anyone volunteer this time? Or are they just going to watch their loved ones get killed? Time is ticking. An AU.
1. Chapter 1

I tie my hair into a loose side braid, as I hear the loud, clear knocks on the front door, which could only be done by one person.

"Hi Gale." I smile, looking up at the tall, gray eyed, Seam boy, who I now referred to, as a friend.

"Just reminding you that my mom is serving dinner at seven and we'll be watching the games at eight." he said, placing his arm on the frame of the door, leaning down at me.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world." I grin, thinking of Hazelle's mouth watering stews.

"Good." he said firmly, starting to walk down the steps of my porch. "See you at seven." he called, looking over his shoulders, grinning.

"See ya." I call back, closing the front door with a smug look on my face.

It was strange. A couple of months ago, being friends with Gale Hawthorne would've seemed like the most, stupid idea in the world. Now we would visit each other's houses, keep each other company and just have fun.

It all changed when Prim was reaped in the reaping and Katniss had volunteered to take her place. I can't say I'm shocked though. Katniss loves Prim more than anyone. I remember staring at the stage, my insides already burning. I had lost my best friend to the Capitol. That wasn't the only friend I would lose that day. Peeta Mellark. My head snapped up from the ground, my watery eyes seeing both Katniss and Peeta on the stage, shaking their hands, knowing that they would have to kill each other at one point. After that everything seemed rushed. I had spoke to both Katniss and Peeta, even giving her my Mockingjay pin to keep. As a token. As a remembrance of me, Prim, Gale and District 12.

I was already lonely, spending most of my time playing piano, and talking with my sick mother. She wouldn't respond much. Shortly after I lost her too. She died four days after the reaping. The days I had spent after that, were the most painful. I had _no one._ Katniss and Peeta were in the games fighting for their lives. My mother was dead. My father busying himself with work. Me? I just sat by the piano. Day after day. Thinking about the Capitol.

How they had first taken my Aunt Maysilee into the games. How she was killed by animals invented by the Capitol, itself. How it wasn't just Maysilee who died. My mom did too. Emotionally. Mentally. Dad said she suffered from depression ever since Aunt Maysilee had died. Ever since she was taken away from her. Except, my dad was able to pull her out of it. Not for long though, because I came along.

People always made remarks on how I was the spitting image of Maysilee, even as a baby. It brought it all crashing back for her. Dad had to single handily raise me, whilst my mom never left her room, trapped in her own thoughts. Dad said that's what started it all off for her. The depression. Then it was illness after illness. Until finally she died.

And it was all their fault. The capitols. First they took my Aunt Maysilee. Then they took my mother with her. And now they've taken Peeta and Katniss, the _only _people I had left in this world. Or so I thought.

I was so enraged by the capitol, for what they had done to me. I wanted them to suffer. I wanted to defy them, even if it was as little as going over the fence. It was defying them, nonetheless.

I let my feet drag me to the woods, as I listened for the electric buzz from the fence. Except there wasn't one. I don't know what I was thinking. I just had to let it all out. I wanted to scream. I wanted my voice to be heard. I wanted to bring the Capitol down. But I couldn't. I couldn't bring the Capitol down. I couldn't do anything at all, because I am the mayor's daughter, and that's all I'll ever be. The Mayor's daughter.

I had crossed the fence anyway, finding my way through the woods. I was a mess. I _am _a mess. And that's how Gale found me. A mess. I was screaming, crying, sobbing, letting my anger out on a tree. Surprisingly, I had torn the bark of it, revealing it's rugged texture. But that wasn't enough. No way enough. Gale said I was screaming. Something about the capitol. How much I hated them. How I hated them for taking everyone I loved. Katniss. Peeta. Mom. Maysilee. He said he had watched me for a while, as I threw stones at the tree, pounding my fists against it. Eventually I broke down, crying to myself, my insides feeling numb, as I rested my arms against the tree, placing my head on it as I controlled my breathing.

"You know. That's not good for the tree." he smirked, revealing himself from behind the bush.

"Not today Gale. I can't cope with you today." I sighed deeply, closing my eyes, as I let the sorrow overwhelm me.

"What's the matter princess? Did your shirt crease?" he snickered.

"I SAID NOT TODAY HAWTHORNE!" I lashed out, glaring fiercely at him. I guess he hadn't expected it. He said it was like seeing me in a new light. And that's how our friendship weirdly begun. That day in the woods.

I guess I like the company. It fills up the lonliness. Sometimes I worry if Gale's only using me because Katniss is in the games. That's probably why we're friends. To keep each other distracted from the loss we've experienced.

It's not just that. After my mother died the Hawthorne's have been the for me. They're the family I never had. They each were unique in their own way. Hazelle had a warm heart, welcoming me into the family instantly. Rory was hilarious. Vick was shy and adorable. Posy. Oh Posy. Posy was the sweetest little girl, who anybody would love instantly. They had all helped me overcome my bereavement. They made me happy in a way I thought wasn't possible. I wish I could say the same for my father. He acts like he's fine, but he's not. Mostly distracting himself with work, but I doubt he actually has any work to do. He'll do anything not to be reminded of my mother's death. Even if it means losing contact with me. I can still see the pain in his eyes. His eyes are filled with nothing but loneliness.

* * *

Without realizing I bury my head into Gale's shoulder, as I squint at the horror of what's happening on the screen. Cato has Peeta in a headlock. Katniss has her arrow aimed, but if she shoots now, she'll kill Peeta in the process. I hear Posy cry on the other side of the couch, as she hides herself under her mother's arms.

Then it all happens so quickly. The arrow. Cato's hand. The mutts. I feel myself gag as the mutts tear Cato apart. I squeeze my eyes shut, as Gale hides my face under his arms. I don't want to witness that. I don't think anybody does. Hazelle sends both Vick and Posy to bed, despite their demands of wanting to make sure Katniss makes it out alive. Rory leaves soon after, not wanting to witness Cato's slow and painful death. Cato's desperate pleas and screams of agony carry on for what seems like years, as Katniss finally pulls the arrow and kills him. I sigh, swallowing the bile that travels its way up my throat.

Hazelle excuses herself, going upstairs to check on the others. Leaving only me and Gale on the couch. I move myself away from Gale, moving into the arched corner of the couch, which Hazelle had just sat in. Everyone knows I like to sit in the corner of couches. Our eyes stayed glued to the TV as Cato's body is taken away.

"Madge. You _know _what this means right?" Gale says, turning to face me with wide eyes, as I remain silent. "They're coming home. Katniss and Peeta." I thought about it, but it never really sunk in until now. My face brightens up almost instantly, that is until there's an announcement.

'_Greetings to the final contestants of the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games. The earlier revisions have been revoked. Closer examination of the rule book has disclosed that only one winner may be allowed. Good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favor!'_

My stomach drops, as my insides burn. "They can't do that! They can't!" I yell at the screen, as I shake my head frantically, my voice rising.

"I should've known they'd do something like this." Gale hissed through gritted teeth.

I watch with confusion as both Katniss and Peeta stare at each other, before grabbing a handful of berries. A closer observation shows them as Nightlock. Oh no. Oh god no.

My eyes stare at the screen desperately not wanting them to do, what they're about to do. They're going to kill themselves. The star-crossed lovers of District 12 cannot live without each other. I dig my fingers into Gale's arm, as they raise the berries to their mouths.

'_Stop! Stop! Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to present the victors of the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games, __Katniss Everdeen__ and __Peeta Mellark__! I give you- the tributes of District Twelve'_

I sigh a breath of relief, as I jump off the couch. Gale looks at me, the biggest grin I've ever seen on him, spreads across his face, as he too stands up beside me.

"She's coming home Madge! KATNISS IS COMING HOME!" he yells, pulling me into a bone-crushing hug, as he spins me around in the hug.

"I know Gale! I know!" I squeal with pure happiness and delight. "They're coming home." I laugh shakily, as he puts me down. In the joy of the moment, we stare at each other. I can see the reflection of my ocean blue eyes in his gray eyes, as he lowers his face towards me. I stand on my tip toes, as he cups my face. We're both lost in the moment, when we hear a small cough, as we instantly jump away from each other.

"Am I interrupting?" smiles Hazelle, leaning against the door.

"No. Not at all. I was just leaving." I whisper frantically, without looking at the pair of them. I nod at them, as I make my way out of their house, into town.

* * *

I watch the TV in my living room, as I see Katniss and Peeta being presented as the winners of the 74th Hunger Games. They both look different. Polished. I grin to myself, as I can't wait for them to return. They won the games yesterday, and tomorrow they're coming home. I hear a loud, clear knock on the door, knowing too well who it is.

"Gale. I was just meaning to come over." I frown, as Gale paces my porch. "What's wrong?"

"Listen Madge. We have to talk. Can I come in?" he whispers, his voice pained, as he rubs the back of his neck.

"Sure. Yeah. Come in." I smile uneasily, as he walks in and sits on the couch. I close the door and stare at him with curiosity, as I make my way to the couch, sitting beside him. "Gale, what's wrong?" I say staring at the boy, who's constantly fidgeting and frowning at the wall. Was Gale Hawthorne _nervous?_ He sighs to himself, before turning around to face me. His face filled with sorrow and guilt.

"Madge. I'm so sorry. I don't want to, but with Katniss coming back and all" he starts, as I straighten myself, knowing exactly what he was going to say.

"We can't be friends." I whisper, nodding slightly as I try to register it in my mind. I can feel his eyes on me, as I drop my own to the ground.

"I'm so sorry Madge. With Katniss coming back!" he squeaks, as he tries to give me an explanation. Finally giving up, he drops his voice. "It's for the best. It just has to be done."

"I know." I reply, my chin trembling, as I hold back the tears. Without looking at him, I walk towards the door, opening it. "Goodbye Gale." I whisper, keeping my face straight, not letting him see any sadness.

"I'm sor-" he begins, as he walks towards me.

"Like you said. It's for the best. _Goodbye." _I say fiercely, as I let Gale Hawthorne walk out of my life. He glances at me one more time, but my eyes stay glued to the floor. I slam the door as he walks out, letting my knees drop to the ground, as I let my tears out.

For a long time, in a while now. I feel lonely again.


	2. Chapter 2

Two days ago Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark won the 74th Hunger Games. One day ago Gale Hawthorne told me he doesn't want to be friends with me. Today, Katniss and Peeta are coming home. They're coming home to District 12. To me.

I fidget with the hem of my buttercup coloured dress. My eyes stayed glued to the ground of the train platform as I try to distract myself from the Hawthorne family who greeted me, as I got there. Posy ran into my arms, Rory was too busy flirting with Prim, Vick was awfully quiet. My eyes had searched for Gale, who was in a heated conversation with Hazelle. Thank god for that. I don't want any awkward meetings.

I smile at Mrs Everdeen, as I make my way towards the Mellark family. I quickly avoid Mrs Mellark, as I bump into Peeta's older brother, Caleb. "Hello stranger." he jokes, as we wait for the train to arrive. "Haven't seen you around the bakery for a while."

"Yeah. I avoided the bakery. Too many memories of Peeta." I sighed, remembering the heart ache I felt when Peeta and Katniss went into the games.

"Well it's good he's coming back then. I'll get to see more of you around." he winks. I roll my eyes at him. Ever since I was fourteen Caleb had been flirting with me, but I took it on lightly. He was only joking around.

Everyone gathers together, as the train comes into view. I'm so excited I can't help but grin, ear to ear. They're coming home. Katniss and Peeta. I bite my lips with excitement, as I see Katniss come into view. Prim runs over to her instantly as the Hawthorne's and Mrs Everdeen gather around her. I guess I'll have to talk to her later.

My eyes snap up to the noise of a metallic clanking. Peeta. He makes his way over, steadily passing the Everdeens and Hawthornes. I run over into his open arms, as I fling my arms around him. Tears of joy stream down my face, as he twirls me around in his arms. I never want to let him go again. Not into the arms of the Capitol.

"I knew you would come back! I knew it! I just _knew _it!" I whisper, my voice barely audible as I try to make out that he's safe. Alive and healthy.

"It's good to see you too Madge." he laughs hoarsely, slowly letting me go. He sounds aged, pained and exhausted. I don't even want to think of the terror's that he went through in the arena.

"Hey! Don't keep him all to yourself." Caleb interrupts, moving in front of me to greet Peeta. I smile, feeling like nothing can bring me down now. I turn around to meet Katniss's eye. She's whispering something to Prim, before slowly moving towards me.

I quicken my pace as I hug her. Maybe not as heartily as I had hugged Peeta, but she was my friend nevertheless. She was my friend and she was alive. That for me was enough. "I'm so glad that your safe." I whisper my voice quivering, as I inhale the scent of smoke from her.

"Thank you Madge." she smiles, as I frown. "Prim's been telling me that you've been supplying my family with food while I was gone."

"It's nothing really. We had too much anyway." I stutter, remembering the time when no-one ate in the house after my mother passed away.

"No. It's not nothing. You kept them alive." she mumbles, squeezing my hand slightly.

* * *

My finger dance across the keys of the piano, as I slowly finish the piece I was playing.

"You never cease to amaze me, Madge." Peeta sighs, his eyes staring at me and the piano in awe. I smile smugly, as I take the cup he passes me, filled with his delicious, mouth watering hot chocolate. I sit beside him, in my corner of his couch, as he flicks through the channels.

"So when's the Victory Tour?" I ask, taking long sips of my hot chocolate, letting the chocolate melt my taste buds.

"In a week's time." he sighs sadly, placing his cup on the coffee table.

"You're going? Already?" It feels like he just came back. Sure it's been a week since both Katniss and Peeta had come back from the games, but it was far too quick for the Capitol just to take them away again.

"I'll be back, before you know it." he smiles, ruffling my hair. Except he won't be back before I know it. The days will be stretched out and I'll have no-one there for me. It's been a week and I still haven't seen Katniss, who has cameras following her most of the time. Me and Peeta keep each other company, like we used to do before the games, except we're in Peeta's victor house now. It's much bigger than my own, but I like it here. Peeta watches me play the piano, as I watch him paint. Times flies by, when we mess about in the kitchen, baking all sorts of pastries. At the end of the day we're exhausted and I make my way back home. "You know Madge. It won't hurt to visit the bakery. Caleb would be more than happy to keep you company." he winks playfully, as I whack him with a cushion.

"If this is another way for you to set me up with your brother, you better forget it!" I laugh, as he hits me back. Someone bursts into the house in between our pillow fight. I look up to see the rugged, mangled, dirty blond hair and crystal blue eyes of Haymitch Abernathy.

"Undersee. You're here." he breaths, alarmed at my presence. "You're always here." he mutters under his breath.

"Is that a problem Haymitch?" I hiss, emphasising on his name.

"I'm here for Mellark."

"Who's sitting right beside her, in case you didn't notice." Peeta laughs, breaking the tension.

"Right." he mumbles, trying to remember what he was here for. "Turn the TV on. President Snow's announcing the addition in the Quarter Quell." he rushes, sitting beside me on the couch, as Peeta flickers through the TV Channel to the Capitol's.

"Already? That's not possible. The announcement is usually after the Victory Tour." I frown, my mind going through the years of being the Mayor's daughter, thinking of any occurrences similar to this.

"That's just it. There isn't going to be a Victory Tour." Haymitch mutters, glancing at our shocked faces.

"WHAT? WHY?" Peeta yells, his eyes flickers between Haymitch and the screen.

"I don't know. We'll just have to find out." he mutters, as we all turn to watch the announcement in silence. My breathing alters, as I see President Snow arise to the balcony.

'_People of Panem, due to the additional rule in the Quarter Quell, the Victory Tour for the victors of the 74__th__ Hunger Games, will not be held.' _I bite my lips as my inside burns, when he grabs the card from the bowl. _'The twist in the 75__th__ Hunger Games and 3__rd__ Quarter Quell, is that all residents of Panem, excluding the Capitol will be placed in the Reaping. Children and adults alike. Victors would be expected to return in the arena, if reaped. May the Odds Ever Be In Your Favour.'_

My stomach drops, as I dig my fingers into Peeta's arm. I suck my cheek, as I feel Peeta lean on me. They can't take him away. Not now. Not so soon. He just came back! They can't take them. What if it's my father or Mrs Everdeen or Hazelle. Oh, Hazelle. She's a mother, how would they cope?

What about Posy and Vick. They haven't got years until they're put into the reaping, yet they have an additional year of experience. The fear of being reaped. The fear of being chosen to die in the arena. Knowing your death is coming soon. I try to get up, but I can feel the space cave in on me. I gasp for air, but receive nothing. My knees give in, as my head crashes against the ground. I can feel someone shaking me, hearing Peeta's distant voice. I can see him as he blurs away from vision. Only his blue eyes still visible, until they too fade from site, as I'm entered into a world of darkness.

* * *

_A/N:Sorry for the filler chapter. What do you think of this fanfic so far? What do you think of the announcement? Please review and follow. Criticism is welcome :)_


	3. Chapter 3

I wake up to find myself in a bed I don't recognise, and an ice pack on my forehead. I sit up straight, as I realise where I am. "Hey. Your awake." Peeta mumbles, looking down at me, brushing my hair out of my face.

"What the hell happened?" I gasp, my eyes alert, as Peeta sits at the edge of the bed.

"You passed out after President Snow announced the new rule for the Quarter Quell. Me and Haymitch moved you into this room, and I slept in the guest room." he explains, as I sigh a breath of relief.

"Madge? Is everything okay with your dad?" Peeta asks quietly, as if he's going into unauthorised territory. "He didn't call last night, looking for you."

"Oh." I mumble, having realised already that he didn't care. "Yeah. Everything's fine. It's just been a bit weird after mom died." I sigh, burying myself under the duvet.

"The reaping is tomorrow. Just to let you know. President Snow seems to be in a rush to have the Quarter Quell this year." he mumbles, walking towards the door. "You should get some rest."

* * *

I hear a soft knock on my bedroom door, as I turn around to see my father. "Hi." he whispers in a soft voice. "You look beautiful." he smiles, as if this is the first time we're meeting.

"Thanks." I reply back, with a small smile, as I look down at my ivory coloured dress. It's flowing down, up to my knees, like the wind. My hair is in curls, as I've tied it into a side ponytail, with a lily placed in it.

"Your mother would be proud of you." he smiles, his voice shaking at the mention of my mother. "Madge. I love you. I may not show it at times, but I do love you." he whispers, squeezing my hand gently.

"I should get going now. Need to get my fingerprint scanned. I don't want to be late for the Capitol." I cough, walking past him, as I make my way down the stairs and out of the house.

I make my way to the square, as I ignore the prick on my finger. I walk towards the girls section, as I see Prim hyperventilating, whilst Rory tries to calm her. I'm about to walk towards her, when I catch sight of Posy Hawthorne crying her eyes out.

I walk towards her, crouching down beside her. "Hey. What's wrong, Pose?" I ask, stroking her softly, as I pull her into a hug.

"I d-don't want them to take me Madge. I-I don't want to die." she cries, whimpering against me.

"You won't. I won't let them take you. I won't let them take any of you." I reply determinedly, as I pull away, staring deeply into her eyes. "I promise. Now go and stand with the rest of the kids, at the front." I whisper, as she nods, running off to the front.

I take my place in the crowd, as I feel someone squeeze my hand. I turn around to see Katniss's stony, blank face, her eyes never leaving the justice building, where Effie stands at the podium.

"Katniss…what are you-?"

"Victors are placed in the Reaping too remember?" she sighs, her fingers shaking uncontrollably.

"Oh." I mumble, standing straight, remembering the new rule. My eyes skim over the crowd of boys as I spot Peeta, who smiles at me comforting.

"_Welcome, welcome to the 75__th__ Hunger Games. Happy hunger games and May the Odds Ever Be In Your Favour!" _Katniss holds onto my hand, as I start to tremble, whilst we're shown the footage we have to watch every year. I feel the bile travelling up my neck, as it finally finishes. _"Let's start off with the girls shall we?" _Effie smiles, as her hand hovers over the bowl filled with cards. Katniss clutches onto my arm, as I breath slowly, fear overwhelming me, as she picks a card.

"_Hazelle Hawthorne."_

My heart drops, as my eyes widen in search of Hazelle. They can't take her away! She has a family! She's their only hope. I can see her make her way towards the podium, as Posy and Vick's screams are heard. Not thinking, I take my arm from Katniss and run in front of Hazelle.

"Madge! What are you doing?" Hazelle hisses, pushing me away, as the peacekeepers corner me.

"I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE!" I yell, as there's a sudden rush of noise amongst the crowd. "I volunteer as tribute." I say, looking Hazelle directly in the eye. She's left speechless as the peacekeepers take me to the stage.

I keep my eyes cast on the ground, avoiding my father's stare, as I hear someone call out my name.

"Madge. MADGE! What are you doing?" I can't make out whether if it's Peeta, Caleb or maybe even Gale. I look up to see the thousands of people stare at me. I can see Posy hug onto her mother tightly, as Hazelle mouths the words 'Thank you.'

"What's your name dear?" Effie asks, passing me the mic. I stare at her, my eyes watering, as I try to process what I've just done. My lip opens, but nothing comes out. I try again, as my lip quivers.

"Madge Undersee." I reply, although it's barely a whisper.

"Oh! You're the mayors daughter!" Effie gasps with delight, as she claps her hands. "Your father must be so proud!"

My father. I don't even want to look at him, right now. I don't know what to say. What will he think of me? Will he be ashamed, disappointed, grateful or even proud. I don't know. I don't know anything now.

My eyes hover over the crowd, as I feel my legs tremble. I meet eyes with Katniss, who frowns at me, trying to work out why I'm volunteering.

"_Moving onto the boys." _Effie holds her hand above the bowl. Another person to join me. Another person ready to greet their death. I can see Rory, who's silently comforting Vick. I can almost hear the sigh of relief from the crowd of girls. Thank god it isn't _their _family member going into the arena. It's just the precious little mayor's daughter.

"_Peeta Mellark."_

My eyes snap up, to see Peeta move through the crowd. His determined face, ignoring the gasp from the crowd. He makes his way to the stage slowly, the metallic noise of his leg, as Katniss screams uncontrollably. No! They can't take him away! I'm not going to let them take him away! He had just come back! They can't do that!

My eyes throb violently, as I shake my head, trying to fight back the tears. Before I know it, I see a brown haired boy, push past everyone.

"I volunteer as tribute!" My eyes tear away from Peeta, as I look at the source of the voice I recognise too well.

"Gale! NO! What are you doing? We just got mom back!" Rory yells, trying to pull him back in the audience.

"I have to do this, Rory! Go back to Vick. Now!" he orders, as Peeta stares at him bewilderly.

I can feel myself go weak, as Gale climbs the steps to the stage. My eyes stare at him questioningly, as I let a teardrop fall. I'm not weak. I'm not going to cower against the Capitol.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here? Two volunteers for District 12? This _is_ a special year." Effie squeals with delight, embracing us both. "Now, shake hands dears."

I look Gale in the eye, confused, as he shakes my hand sternly. His eyes are stony and determined, as we're ushered into the Justice Building.

* * *

I rock myself back and forth against the window ledge, in the room. _What have I done?_ I'm going to die. I've just planned my own death. I whip around as I hear the door open. My father rushes in, pulling me into an embrace.

"Why Madge? Why? Why did you do it?" he cries, looking at me for the last time.

"Because.." I whisper trying to find my voice. "Because I did what I thought was right. I did was right dad. I _did _what was right."

"I can't lose you! I've just lost your mother Madge. I can't lose you too." he begs, frowning at me. I let out a dry laugh, as I wipe my nose. Not very lady like, is it?

"That's just it, dad! You've already lost me!" I spit, letting the anger I've felt for him, pour out of me. "You already lost me, when mom died!" I yell, as I take a sharp intake of breath.

"I was at home _without _a mother, whilst _my father_ was always at work! Always somewhere better. Never cared to talk to me once, did you? I was practically an _orphan_!" I cry, remembering those shameful days I spent alone, as I raise my tone.

"They're the closest thing I have to a family, _dad_! Hazelle?! She deserves to live! She has something worth living for! She has children, she takes _care_ of. She doesn't just _leave_ them, by themselves!" I yell my throat going raw.

"She has children who _love _her! She has been there for me, like a mother would do, when my _own_ father didn't even bother calling, when I didn't come home one night! SO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I VOLUNTEERED?! BECAUSE SHE HAS SOMEONE AND SOMETHING WORTH LIVING FOR! AND I HAVE NOTHING! _NOTHING _TO LIVE FOR!" I yell, exhaling as I finally finish.

I look up at him, to see his face filled with shame. "Madge, I'm-"

"Save it dad." I sigh, giving up. "Just do me one favour."

" Anything!" he begs, moving closer to me.

"Let them stay in the house. Make sure they're well fed, and make sure they're _safe_." I whisper, finally pulling him into a hug. "I'm going to miss you." I whisper, as he cradles me in his arms. The peacekeeper comes in and takes him away.

I sigh to myself, as I sit in the chair, letting my head fall into my hands. I let out a silent sob, as I'm left to my thoughts. My head snaps up, as Posy runs into the room, hugging my legs. I stand up to find the rest of the Hawthorne family run towards me.

"I'm so sorry." I whimper, as Hazelle pulls me into a hug.

"You have _nothing _to be sorry for, Madge." she says determinedly, shaking me to my sense. "I owe you my life."

"I didn't know Gale was going to volunteer." I whisper, as Rory eyes me silently from the door.

"Neither did we,Madge. Niether did we." she sighs, her hands shaking.

"I've made some arrangements, as a thank you for helping me. Your to stay in my house. My father's hardly in it, so he said it'll be fine. He'll provide you with food, for the whole family, and you can use any spare clothes you can find in there. Is that okay?" I ask Hazelle, hoping it's enough. She searches my eyes, as I hold onto her hand. "Please say yes. It's not charity. I'm repaying you."

"Thank you. For everything." Hazelle smiles sadly, pulling me into a hug. She sighs, as I hug Rory, Vick and finally Posy. who's reluctant to let go. I watch them leave sadly, as I take a look outside the window.

A peacekeeper comes inside, ready to take me. This was it. I'm leaving District 12 forever.

* * *

_A/N:So Madge volunteered in place of Hazelle,huh? What did you think of that twist. It's funny because I got a review saying that Hazelle should get Reaped, and I just froze, because that's exactly what I was thinking, and that's exactly what happened. Hope you like it! Please review, and criticism is welcome :)_


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I'm being led into the train with Gale and Effie. As the mayor's daughter I sit down gracefully, in the chair near the window. My eyes stay cast over the aspects of District 12, as we zoom past it. This may be the last time I will ever be in District 12. To hell with it. This was the last time I was going to be in District 12. There was no way I would survive the games.

"Madge?" Effie snaps me back to the present, as Gale peers at me. I look at them unaware of the conversation they were having.

"Effie was just saying how fantastic it is that District 12 has two volunteers this year." he says solemnly. My eyes does not meet his, as I nod my head slightly.

"Yes. Fantastic." I whisper unconvincingly. I can feel the hard stare of Gale, as response to my comment. Effie does not take the hint and squeals in delight.

"Of course we must credit the girl who started this admiral trend throughout your District." Effie smiles, as Katniss and Peeta enter the room.

Without thinking I rush into Peeta's arms. He keeps a firm grip around me, holding me close.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Peeta growls, his blue eyes hungrily search through mine. My lip trembles, as I open my mouth, but no words leave. I look behind me to see Gale and Katniss awkwardly hug. I look back at Peeta, who nods his head slightly. "I know." he whispers, pulling me back into a bone crushing hug. "I promise Madge if it's the last thing I'll do. I'll get you out of there." he whispers softly into my ear. I tremble under his touch, letting myself feel fear for the first time. I want to believe that, but then at the same time I don't. If I win, that means Gale dies. If Gale wins, that means I do. If neither of us win, it means District 12 will have no victor.

I pull away seating myself back in my chair, before any suspicions arise. Katniss and Peeta both take their seats on either side of Effie. Peeta sits opposite me, whilst Katniss sits opposite Gale.

"Well I take it you all know each other already?" Effie smiles, peering at us all. Dear God. Why does she smile all the time? Does she _never _stop smiling?

"Me and Gale are…." Katniss starts, looking at Gale uneasily. My eyes stay glued to the ground, as I chew on the insides of my cheek. The words: acquaintances, friends, more than friends, come to mind. "Cousins." My eyes snap up, as Peeta glares at me, as I compose myself back to a plain expression.

"Yeah. Just cousins." Gale says plainly staring straight through Katniss, who doesn't drop her gaze.

A small silence fills, as I feel both Katniss's gray eyes and Effie's blue eyes stare at me.

"What about you Madge? You clearly seem to know Peeta." Effie smiles, as I finally decide to look up from the ground.

"We're best friends. We brought up together." Peeta grins, his eyes lighting up with memories from the past. "We were inseparable. We _are _inseparable."

"Actually me and Madge have been friends too, for a couple of years now. We haven't spoken since I've came back." Katniss speaks, our eyes meeting. Yet I can hear coldness with it. "She was actually the one that got me the Mockingjay pin."

"Ooooh. The Mockingjay pin. It's gone viral across the Capitol." Effie rambles on, as my mind wonders away.

"Madge?"

"Hmm?" I mumble, snapping back to reality. I hate it when I do that. Everyone is staring at me. Everyone except Gale. "Yes?"

"How did you get the Mockingjay pin?" Effie asks.

"It was my Aunt Maysilee's. She gave it to my mother before she went into the arena." I sigh, feeling a lump form in my throat. I can feel Peeta's eyes transfix on me, knowing that I'm going to get uncomfortable with this conversation.

"How's your mother?" Katniss asks with sincerity, her eyes soft and kind for once.

"She's err…" I start of the sentence, but I suddenly feel overwhelmed with pressure and sadness. I can feel Gale's eyes snap up to stare at my face. I try to find words, as Peeta's hands finds mine, squeezing it reassuringly. "She erm…. She's err-"

"Madge. It's okay. You don't have to say anything." Peeta says in a hushed voice, trying to calm me down. My eyes can't seem to shift from the ground, as I start to hyperventilate. "It's okay. Come on, you're better than this. She's fine. She's at a better place now."

Realisation dawns upon Effie and Katniss's faces. Gale shakes his leg impatiently, as he stares at me. I don't know if he wants to help, as if there's something pulling him back. Or if he's just watching for entertainment.

"I'm so sorry for your loss." Katniss says in a soft tone. Yet her eyes resume to their previous state of staring between me and Gale, trying to figure out the connection between us. "As if the death of your Aunt."

"What was her name again, dear?" Effie says in a hushed tone, leaning forward, as if not to pressurize me.

"Maysilee." The entrance of a husky, drunk voice, snaps all of our attention. We all look behind us to find Haymitch Abernathy, lean against the frame of the door, with a bottle in his hand. No surprise there.

I bite my lip, as Haymitch lazily takes his seat beside Peeta.

"Haymitch. How lovely of you to join us." Effie says in a faked high pitched voice. It's clear she does not want him present in the room. Haymitch ignores her remark, his eyes not leaving mine. God. I feel like I'm being viewed under a microscope, by almost everyone other than Gale. Effie tries to create conversation, but my confused blue eyes, search through his gray eyes. As do his to mine.

"Why do did you volunteer?" he snaps, bluntly interrupting Effie, who glares at him in response.

"Excuse me?" I reply in an accusing manner. There's something about Haymitch Abernathy that I absolutely despise. I just need to figure out what.

"Don't act like you didn't hear me sweetheart. Why did you volunteer?" he asks in a jeering tone. I take my time to collect my thoughts, as Effie tries to find her way back into the conversation.

"I don't believe that was what we were talking about." Effie snaps.

"No. No. Let her speak." Katniss says, waving Effie off, staring in an intimidating manner at both me and Gale. "I would like to know the same thing."

"If this is your way of being angry that Gale volunteered, you might as well back off now, Katniss." Peeta snaps, standing up in my defence. He actually sounds angry. I haven't heard him be angry in a long time.

"This has _nothing_ to do with Gale." she hisses in response, her eyes sending daggers at him.

"Maybe GALE would like an input in this all!" Gale booms, through gritted teeth.

They all stop, and look down at him. Acknowledging him for the first time.

"She volunteered because she did what she thought was right. A mother of four, to be taken away from her family? That's pretty damn harsh. And I volunteered because I did what I thought was right too. She's the reason why my siblings now have a mother. Posy has two other brothers. She's not missing much, if she's gonna lose one brother."

"Gale-" Katniss interrupts, her hand moving towards his. He jerks away.

"No. No Gale. No sympathy. The point is that I volunteered because she saved my family. Hawthorne's never take charity. Hawthorne's always repay their debts. And at that point I felt like we were in debt. This is my way of paying her."

My eyes stare at his in a scrutinizing manner. I can't believe that's why he volunteered! Because of dignity and debt? I should've expected it though. It is Gale Hawthorne after all. Gale Hawthorne never used to be like that. Then again, I never knew Gale Hawthorne. The real question is who is Gale Hawthorne?

* * *

Note from_ author: _Sorry for this filler chapter. I've been so busy with school, personal issues and everything. I'm ever so sorry for not uploading in over a month. I hope I haven't lost your interest. I'm really reeeeeeeally sorry. Expect some more chapters coming your way.


	5. Chapter 5

"I'm sure your family will be proud." I hiss, disgusted by his stupidity. It has the affect I expected on him, as he winces slightly.

I grit my teeth, as I excuse myself from the conversation. Effie smiles at me as I leave, her blue eyes gleaming. I ignore her, as I feel my cheeks rush with colour. God I hate him. I hate him so much. He did it for dignity. How could he be so stupid? I volunteered in place of his mother and then he decides to leave his family because of _dignity_? Does he feel no shame? His family _needs _him.

Peeta gets up, about to follow me, as Katniss grabs his arm-holding him back. She glares at him, as he sits back down. Walking my way down the corridor, I find what seems to be my room, as I slide the door open. As soon as I slide shut, I can hear thudded footsteps walk towards my door, but then backs away from me.

"Too soon. Still too soon." the speaker mutters to himself. I stay by the door, listening to their conversation. Father used to scowl at me for eavesdropping. That is if I ever did. He said that I was the mayor's daughter and I should behave like it. Then again he wasn't here, so I could do as I please.

"There was no need for you to be so rude to Madge, Haymitch. But you'll have plenty of time to talk to her."

"How d'you know Maysilee?" Katniss starts.

"I don't." he replies, his voice thick and deep. "How's her mother?"

"She's dead." a deep plain voice replies. I recognize it as Gale's.

"Oh…well…erm." is all Haymitch is able to stay.

"Hey! Will you cut it out?" Peeta snaps, followed by the sound of glass shatter.

"You just wasted some perfectly good wine." Haymitch mutters, in his sickeningly drunk voice.

The rest is just Haymitch, Effie and Peeta arguing.

I let an exhausted sigh escape my lips, as I make my way towards my bed. I let it engulf me, as I finally let the tears fall. Why? Why was I so afraid to cry in the first place? Time seems to pass, as I finally fall asleep.

* * *

"Hey! What are you doing!" I hear a low and deep whisper. Is that…is that Gale's voice?

I keep my eyes shut, as I pretend to be asleep.

"Nothing. I was just lighting a candle." another voice whispers and I recognize it as Peeta's. I try not to smile as the soothing smell of pumpkin cupcake fills the room. "Pumpkin cupcake. It's her favourite. It reminds her of fall. Which you might have guessed by now-is her favourite season."

"I already know what her favourite season is." Gale snorts, but I know he doesn't. We rarely ever talked about me. I liked it that way. Silence follows-I can imagine Peeta's artistic eyes study Gale's face-trying to figure things out.

"What happened? What happened when I was gone? Between you and Madge that is."

"Nothing."

"Nothing usually means something." he says, a little too hastily. He breaks his pause, "Thank you."

"I didn't say anything." Gale grumbles.

"You don't need to." Peeta replies, getting off the edge of my bed. "Thank you for being her friend when I wasn't able to. She's had a lot happen to her."

"I know." Gale whispers.

Shortly after I hear the door shut and once again I'm alone. But maybe not as alone as I thought.

* * *

_**A/N:** Hi, I'm ever so sorry for the extremely late update and lousy filler chapter. I had lost inspiration and didn't know where the story was going._

_edit:as you can see I edited some of this chapter from it's original because it didn't make sense compared to Chapter 4. Chapter 6 may be late as i got really sick_


	6. Chapter 6

I rub my eye groggily, as I slip on my reaping dress. It's the only thing that feels right to me. I leave my hair as it is. Just a messy braid. I can't be bothered to do anything anymore. Opening the door, I catch sight of the girl who once used to be my best friend. Her eyes widen in horror at the state of me. Looking around, making sure no one can see, she grabs me by the shoulders and hauls me back into my room.

"What do you think you're doing?" she hisses, as I plop myself onto my bed.

"Going to eat breakfast?" I mutter, still half asleep.

"Not looking like that you're not!" she growls. "You need to create a good impression on Effie so she'll be willing to look for sponsors. Sponsors that could save your life." My eyebrows furrow. Since when did Katniss Everdeen care about appearance? The second half made sense, that was all Katniss speaking but the first half? She notices my expression, as she sits down beside me. She closes her eyes and sighs heavily-letting her face fall into her hands. She's exhausted.

"Look. I know I've changed, but the games change you. If you win you're under constant surveillance. I have to keep up an act. You have no freedom." I frown, confused by what she's trying to tell me. "I'm telling you the same thing that I told Gale. Keep up an act. Make people like you. I want **both **of you to win." she sighs. "I can't lose my two best friends." she whispers, as her voice cracks.

Silence follows, as I register what Katniss had just said. They've made her vulnerable-and that's what they're going to do to me too.

"Katniss?" I whisper, my eyes cast on the ground as I swallow hard.

"What?" she replies.

"I'm sorry." I whisper, my voice trembling as she rushes towards me. She wraps her arms around my neck and cradles me, allowing me to sob into her chest.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." she whispers in my ear, yet she knows I'm sorry for what they've done to her. She's sorry too, because they'll do the same to me, but worse. They'll make sure to kill myself and Gale the instant we step foot into the arena. They didn't mean for us to volunteer, but they have the advantage now. Killing the two closest people to the girl on fire, will strip her to the last core of vulnerability-until there is nothing left of her.

She sighs, before pulling away and cupping my face in her hands. "Go take a bath. I'll have your clothes laid out on your bed."

I nod, wiping the last evidence of tears. I get up and make my way towards the bathroom.

"And Madge?" Katniss calls, "Don't make the wrong impression." I merely return what seems to be an empty smile, as I close the bathroom door behind me.

* * *

I sit in my chair uncomfortably as I have Cinna and Katniss observe me. I feel completely bare, although I'm covered up. The prep team had done a pretty marvelous job on me, but all that waxing has left me sore. I keep my eyes averted to the ground, as Cinna walks towards me and crouches down, in eye level with me.

"How would you describe yourself, Madge?" he asks, as I frown-the question taking me completely off guard. How would I describe myself?

"I don't know…" is all I am able to say.

"Strong," Katniss says, her voice booming of all corners of the room. "but gentle." She moves away from the wall, she spent so much time leaning against. " Madge Undersee is an artist, a friend, a warrior. We've got to make her look vulnerable, but everyone will admire her for her bravery."

"Vulnerable?" I frown, my face scrunching up in confusion.

"You have many strong opponents Madge, and we've got to make you look sweet and innocent, so the Capitol will think it's easy to kill you, when it's not. It's gonna take a hell of a lot to bring you down Madge-but we have faith in you."

"We all do." Cinna states.

I feel myself falter as I feel a sudden burst of confidence, but I also know that I am nothing like Katniss has described me. I am not brave. I am not a warrior. I am simply Madge Undersee, the mayor's daughter.

"Now let's get to work." Cinna smiles.

* * *

I frown as I study my reflection in the mirror. Cinna stands behind me reading my face, as Katniss's eyes widen in horror. My blonde hair has been braided so that it sticks to the back of my head. The black dress sticks tightly to my body, almost enhancing my features. The extravagant make up filled with deep reds and charcoal blacks are smeared across my face. I can't seem to recognize myself.

I turn around to face Cinna. "I don't get it." I frown, staring between Katniss and Cinna.

"Your two best friends were in the hunger games the year before you." he states, walking in a circle around me. "Katniss Everdeen is the girl on fire and Peeta Mellark is the boy and fire. Everyone knows that, but the audience doesn't know that their two best friends were reaped. They just know Madge Undersee and Gale Hawthorne. This is the connection from the last tributes of District 12 to the new. It'll gain you more sponsors. Whilst you may represent the embers of the fire, the depth and harshness of the make-up is supposed to make a statement. Your just as strong and brave, and you're not going down without a fight."

I swallow hard, unsure of whether or not I am as strong as Cinna makes me feel.

"Ready?" Katniss calls, leaning against the door frame. I can feel my stomach clench and twist. I curl my fingers, to stop them from trembling. Cinna pulls me back for a second, wrapping his arms around me in a tight hug.

"You can do this." he whispers, as I hide my face in his shoulder. "I believe in you."

I pull away, as Cinna cups my jittering hands. I try to give him a warm smile as I step away, ready for the chariots.

* * *

We walk for a while until we meet Gale and Portia. His brown hair is slicked back and his make-up is so thick that the only thing recognisable is his Seam gray eyes. We both stop and stare at each other's appearance, before nodding slightly as if in acknowledgement with each other.

"Madge!" I turn around to see Peeta stand next to Katniss. "Woah…erm…you look…"

"Interesting?" I finish, as his stare at me in horror, being unable to form a sentence.

"Yes…" he mumbles, as Katniss nudges him in the sides slightly.

I sigh heavily, as I rush down the path towards the chariots. I can't handle awkward conversations anymore. There's too much going on and I hope that everyone will see the meaning behind the dress, just like Cinna had hoped.

I take a step onto the chariot and curl my fingers around the iron bars. This is the first time the Capitol are going to see us, and we have to do everything in our power to create the right impression. It isn't long before Gale joins me on the chariot. He keeps his eyes held straight, the awkward tension already forming between us like an invisible brick wall.

My grip on the bar tightens as my body still burns with anger. "Listen…Madge…" he starts, glancing down at me.

"Save it Hawthorne." I snap, surprised by how stern I sound. None of us can forget that fact that we were once friends, but I can't forget that fact that he was using me.

I can hear the clicking of heels against the ground. Effie's arrived. I groan to myself. That also means Haymitch is here too. They turn the corner, Haymitch's eyes lighting up instantly, as he suppresses a laugh. I cough slightly, as if it doesn't bother me. Effie however, has a different opinion from us all.

"Well! Don't you both look stunning!" she squeaks, each one of her pearly whites beaming at us. Katniss, Peeta, Cinna and Portia all turn the corner, as the anthem starts to play.

"That's one way to put it." Haymitch mumbles, to which Effie accidently stepped on his foot. I can't help but laugh, as it soothens my nerves.

So far the chariots of the first three districts have gone. Make that four. I can hear the Capitol's roar at District four's celebrity-Finnick Odair. I don't know how we're going to get sponsers, when all of them will be running to save him.

Time passes, as Cinna and Portia put their final preparations to our outfits. I can feel heat travel it's way up my body. I don't know if that's my sweating or the fact that there's a spark at the bottom of the costume. Gale moves to nudge me, as we're about to go, but I swerve. I'm well aware of my surroundings thank you very much.

The horses start to move. I straighten my poise and swallow hard. A blinding light appears, and then we are shown to the citizens of the Capitol. The audience erupts into a rapturous applause as they catch sight of us. Why? I am not quite sure. Within a second my question is answered, as I lay my eyes on the screen.

We are not simply on fire, like the much adored star-crossed lovers of District. We are the coal that represents District 12. We are what ignites the fire, leading it to burn at its peak. Our outfits burst into flames, moving its way up like a spiral. As it reaches the neck, it bursts into thousands of embers, leaving parts of our outfits glowing. I finally understand what Cinna was trying to portray. We are not only brave. We have bravery burnt into our skin, waiting for the coal to ignite us.

I feel as if Cinna was talking directly towards me. I have never felt brave or acknowledged bravery to be part of me. But maybe I was wrong. Maybe when I'm in the arena, I just need the coal to ignite me, so I can burn to my maximum ability. I look up as gray Seam eyes fall on my own. My lips tug into what seems to be a smile. Is Gale Hawthorne my coal?

* * *

_**A/N: **Sorry for not updating in a while, but this chapter's a little bit longer to make up for it. Sorry, I had school exams, the winter flu and my laptop died on me. So it took a while, but thank you for making me reach 1,390 views worldwide! I love you guys so much and please feel free to leave a review._


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